Hunting The Apex Predator: The Brown Bear

“If we go after this bear, we could get stranded on land and have to spend the night on the beach,” my guide told me with the same kind of serious, no-BS gaze my mom gave me when I was sixteen and had just gotten arrested for stealing water skis … on Mother’s Day.

The bear we were pursuing wasn’t just any old bear but a substantial Alaskan Brown Bear boar that my guide, Blake Trangmoe, had spotted with his naked eye two miles away.

Yep, this bruin we were after was a massive, stonkin’ prehistoric toad. We didn’t know exactly how big he was, but we knew he was bigger than Rosie O’Donnell—which meant this slob had a gargantuan head, would possibly square ten feet, and likely pushed a grand on the bathroom scale fresh out of hibernation.